Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
