Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
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