I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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