WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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