i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
