Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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