You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize