I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
