You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
