I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
