I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
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