It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Sober January is a disaster.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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