I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
