You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Mom said you looked used
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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