Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
