he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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