I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
