but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
