I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
When are your genitals available?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
