Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
