The maid of honor just puked.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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