Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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