Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
