So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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