Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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