I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
