Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
