please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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