If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
