Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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