is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
