TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
