So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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