Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Damn victory sex feels great
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
