i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
