nut hugger
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
