Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
