Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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