You're a womanizer and a bitch.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
They are going to name an STD after you.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
