I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
