this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
