I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
