I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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