it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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