You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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