Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
