When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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