She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
