It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
