think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
