Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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