it wasn't lemon gatorade
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I feel like abortions should bother me more
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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