Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
