Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
