walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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