I'm lost and stupid without you.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Randomize
