How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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