Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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