Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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